YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship

Why Fights Keep Looping (and How to Break The Cycle)

Why do neurodiverse couples clash so often? Licensed counselor Greg Fuqua shares the hidden patterns—and how to finally break them.
If your neurodiverse relationship feels like a boxing ring—or you keep looping the same arguments—this episode gives you a new playbook. Jodi sits down with licensed counselor Greg Fuqua (late-identified autistic) to talk about what really changes things: shifting from blame to inner work, breaking the cycle of “negative assumptions of wrongness,” and why individual therapy often helps autistic/ADHD couples more than traditional couples counseling.
 
Greg also shares the turning point in his own 30-year marriage: a career collapse, intrusive suicidal thoughts, and the affect-based therapy that cracked open his emotions and rebuilt his capacity for connection.
 
You’ll come away with practical language you can use today, a clearer map of autistic–neurotypical differences as strengths (not flaws), and a preview of Part 2, where we dive into specific co-regulation and attunement tools you can practice at home.
 
💡 This episode is especially helpful for:
Autistic/ADHD–NT couples who keep circling the same argument
Late-identified adults reframing a lifetime of “why am I like this?”
Partners tired of score-keeping who want practical, non-pathologizing tools
00:00 – Season 5 Intro: Can Neurodiverse Relationships Really Work?
01:06 – Meet Greg Fuqua: Late-Identified Autistic Therapist
01:51 – Why Neurodivergent Therapists See Things Differently
02:30 – Inside AANE’s Level 2 Couples Training
07:21 – Relational Trauma & the “Assumption of Wrongness”
12:33 – Greg’s 30-Year Marriage: Struggles, Turn-Taking & Survival
17:46 – From Suicidal Thoughts to Healing & Authenticity
29:21 – The Secret to Making Neurodiverse Relationships Work
About Greg Fuqua:
Greg Fuqua, MA, LMHC, is a late-identified autistic therapist specializing in neurodiverse counseling and couples therapy. With over 30 years of personal experience in a neurodiverse marriage, Greg brings rare insight to his clinical work, blending lived experience with professional expertise.
Formerly a professional artist and art professor for 23 years, Greg integrates creativity and empathy into his strength-based, person-centered approach. He is an Autism Spectrum Disorder Clinical Specialist (ASDCS) and Level 2 AANE-trained neurodiverse couples therapist, as well as co-host of the Neurodiverse Love podcast with Mona Kay.
Greg leads Divergent Counseling in West Des Moines, IA, where he supports individuals, couples, families, and organizations in building healthier, more authentic relationships.
 
Resources
Greg’s website: https://www.gregfuqua.com/
More from Jodi: Visit jodicarlton.com (free resources, assessments, and courses)
Questions? Email: gethelp@jodicarlton.com
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👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd
Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.

I Thought a Stranger Was My Husband”: Living with Face Blindness

What It’s Like to Be Face Blind in a Neurodiverse Relationship
 
Ever mistaken a stranger for your spouse? Journalist and author Sadie Dingfelder has—because she’s face blind. In this episode of Your Neurodiverse Relationship, Sadie and her husband Steve share what it’s like to navigate marriage when both partners are neurodivergent in different ways.
 
From ADHD to prosopagnosia (face blindness), this conversation is filled with relatable moments, honest insights, and laugh-out-loud stories. Sadie discusses how discovering her own neurodivergence led to writing her debut book, “Do I Know You?”, while Steve reflects on living with ADHD since childhood and what finally helped him understand how his brain works. Together, they talk with host Jodi Carlton about cognitive empathy, relationship conflict, and what it really takes to make a neurodiverse marriage thrive.
 
If you're in a neurodiverse relationship—or love someone who is—this episode offers validation, wisdom, and the reminder that being “on the same team” is everything.
 
00:00 – Welcome to Season Five
01:00 – “I Thought I Was Neurotypical”: Meet Sadie & Steve
04:40 – Mistaking a Stranger for Your Spouse?! Discovering Face Blindness
09:15 – How COVID Changed Everything in Their Marriage
13:50 – “We’re Living in Different Realities”: Cognitive Empathy Explained
19:10 – ADHD Meds, Creativity & Finding What Actually Works
25:00 – The Secret to Making Neurodiverse Relationships Work
 
✨ About Sadie Dingfelder & Steve Hay:
Sadie Dingfelder is a science journalist with a sharp wit and a deep curiosity about hidden neurodiversity. In her debut book, “Do I Know You? A Faceblind Reporter’s Journey into the Science of Sight, Memory, and Imagination”, she unpacks what it’s like to live with prosopagnosia (face blindness) while taking readers on a fascinating tour of the brain’s inner workings. A former reporter for the Washington Post Express, Sadie is known for blending humor and insight—whether she’s reviewing every bathroom on the National Mall or playing a priceless Stradivarius at the Smithsonian. Her writing has appeared in The New Yorker, National Geographic, Washingtonian, and other major publications.
 
Steve Hay is an engineer and aspiring scientist who is currently developing an augmented reality art project that simulates prosopagnosia by using AI to subtly distort faces in real time. Before turning his focus to brain and perception research, Steve worked as a Navy nuclear engineer and later in the green energy sector, applying AI and machine learning to grid-scale energy storage. His work blends scientific insight, creative experimentation, and a knack for making the invisible visible.
 
📚 Check out Sadie’s book “Do I Know you? A Faceblind Reporter’s Journey into the Science of Sight, Memory and Imagination.” https://www.amazon.com/Know-You-Faceblind-Reporters-Imagination/dp/0316545147 
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👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd
Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.
 
👉 Explore more episodes, free resources, quizzes, and courses:
https://jodicarlton.com 
 
🔔 Don’t Forget to Like, Subscribe & Share!
Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships.

Viral Neurodiverse Couple on Navigating Sex, Overwhelm & Parenting

In a Neurodiverse Relationship, what happens after you fall in love—but still have to figure out how to live, love, and parent?
In Part 2 of this Season 5 episode with Jodi, Adam and Becca James go even deeper into the realities of a neurodiverse marriage. Becca is autistic and ADHD (AuDHD). Adam is neurotypical. Together, they’ve reached millions on TikTok with raw, relatable content about neurodivergent relationships.
Together, they open up about the day-to-day realities of a neurodiverse relationship—from miscommunication and parenting stress to intimacy challenges, sensory overload, and the emotional friction that comes with constantly decoding each other’s world. With their signature mix of honesty and humor, they explore what it really means to stay connected when love languages clash and nothing feels simple.
💬 You’ll hear about:
Why physical intimacy can feel impossible—and how they rebuilt it from scratch
What happens when emotional cues are misread (and how they recover)
The invisible mental load of affection, communication, and “showing up”
The challenges of parenting as a neurodivergent mom
How some people misunderstand their viral videos—and why they keep posting anyway
Why understanding each other isn’t a goal—it’s a practice
What keeps them committed, even on the hardest days
Whether you're married to someone with autism, parenting through sensory stress, or just trying to better understand your neurodivergent partner, this episode is a heartfelt continuation of a conversation that’s making thousands feel seen.
📍 Episode Timestamps:
00:00 – Season 5 Intro: Can Neurodiverse Relationships Really Work?00:57 – Meet Adam & Becca: Viral TikTok Couple01:36 – Misunderstandings, Meltdowns & Missed Signals03:12 – Using Humor to Survive Neurodivergent Life10:29 – Family Expectations vs. Neurodivergent Needs14:42 – When Physical Affection Feels Overwhelming17:22 – Autism, Intimacy & Rebuilding a Sexual Connection20:20 – The Gap Between Neurotypical & Neurodivergent Brains21:46 – Rethinking How Relationships “Should” Work23:44 – Why Intentional Understanding Keeps Us Together26:05 – Miscommunication in Marriage: It's Not What You Think33:29 – Parenting With Limited Bandwidth37:14 – The Poisoner’s Almanac: Becca’s Special Interest38:55 – Final Thoughts + Resources for Neurodiverse Couples
✨ About Adam & Becca:
Adam and Becca James are a neurodiverse couple living in Georgia who’ve built a community of over 205K followers on TikTok (@studiesshow) by sharing the everyday realities of their relationship—equal parts insightful, awkward, and hilarious.
Their content went viral after one clip, now with over 32 million views, showing the wildly different ways they wind down at night. Since then, they’ve continued to open up about the challenges and gifts of navigating life, love, and parenthood with ADHD and autism in the mix.
Adam is a home health physical therapist, musician, and lifelong Braves fan. Becca, a nurse with experience in both hospital and home healthcare, brings her dry wit and deeply self-aware reflections to their videos, offering a perspective that resonates with both neurodivergent and neurotypical viewers alike.
Together, they use their TikTok platform to normalize neurodivergence, dismantle stigma, and remind their audience that even opposites can thrive—with the right mix of humor, honesty, and headphones.
Adam and Becca also co-host The Poisoner’s Almanac, a podcast exploring poisons (one of Becca's special interests) through history, culture, and modern science.
Mentioned in this episode:
🎧 Adam & Becca’s podcast: The Poisoner’s Almanac – a true crime-meets-science deep dive into historical and modern poisons, created around Becca’s special interest.
👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd
Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.
 
👉 Explore more episodes, free resources, quizzes, and courses:
https://jodicarlton.com
 
🔔 Don’t Forget to Like, Subscribe & Share!
Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships.

Social Media’s Viral Neurodiverse Couple on Love & Marriage

❓ What happens when two people fall in love and one is neurodivergent? They go viral on social media! 📈
In this episode, Jodi chats with Adam and Becca, a neurodiverse couple whose viral TikToks have racked up millions of views. Their videos offer an unfiltered look into the realities of a neurodiverse relationship—and their honest, often hilarious conversations have helped hundreds of thousands of viewers feel less alone.
Together, they share what it’s really like navigating marriage with autism and ADHD in the mix: from sensory overload and autistic burnout to faith deconstruction, parenting struggles, emotional disconnects, and wildly mismatched love languages.
Becca opens up about her late autism diagnosis, how masking nearly broke her, and why even small moments of affection can feel overwhelming. Adam reflects on how being a neurotypical husband has challenged him to rethink communication, connection, and what support truly looks like.
💬 You’ll hear about:
-How they met and fell in love despite major differences -Becca’s late autism diagnosis and what finally made everything click -How masking, meltdowns, and burnout shaped their early years of marriage -The tension between physical touch and sensory boundaries -Why Adam’s humor is more than just comic relief—it’s a lifeline -The role faith and religious deconstruction played in reshaping their connection -What it means to truly be seen—and chosen—by someone wired differently
If you've ever wondered what "opposites attract" looks like in a neurodiverse relationship, this episode is a must-listen!
📍 Episode Timestamps:
0:00 – Season 5 Intro: Can Neurodiverse Relationships Really Work? 01:00 – Meet Adam & Becca: A Quirky First Encounter 03:00 – Burnout, Meltdowns & the Cost of Masking 06:00 – Autism, Sensory Overload & the Need for Space 10:40 – Parenthood, Shutdowns & Surviving the Early Years 18:55 – Late Diagnosis, Big Realizations 20:45 – From Toxic Church Culture to Mental Clarity 25:00 – How Opposites Communicate (and Miscommunicate) 28:50 – Choosing Each Other, Every Day 34:25 – Why Laughter Helps More Than You Think 
✨ About Adam & Becca: Adam and Becca James are a neurodiverse couple living in Georgia who’ve built a community of over 205K followers on TikTok (@studiesshow) by sharing the everyday realities of their relationship—equal parts insightful, awkward, and hilarious.
Their content went viral after one clip, now with over 32 million views, showing the wildly different ways they wind down at night. Since then, they’ve continued to open up about the challenges and gifts of navigating life, love, and parenthood with ADHD and autism in the mix. Adam is a home health physical therapist, musician, and lifelong Braves fan. Becca, a nurse with experience in both hospital and home healthcare, brings her dry wit and deeply self-aware reflections to their videos, offering a perspective that resonates with both neurodivergent and neurotypical viewers alike.
Together, they use their TikTok platform to normalize neurodivergence, dismantle stigma, and remind their audience that even opposites can thrive—with the right mix of humor, honesty, and headphones. Adam and Becca also co-host The Poisoner’s Almanac, a podcast exploring poisons (one of Becca's special interests) through history, culture, and modern science.
💬 NEW! Try the NeuroTranslator App Want help understanding each other’s neurotypes in everyday situations? The NeuroTranslator app offers on-demand explanations to help reduce conflict and increase connection. Built by an autistic husband to bridge communication gaps between neurotypes. Save 30% with promo code JODI.
🔗 https://www.neurotranslator.ai 
👩‍💼 About Your Host:
Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.
👉 Explore more episodes, free resources, quizzes, and courses: https://jodicarlton.com  
🔔 Don’t Forget to Like, Subscribe & Share! Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships.

How to Get Unstuck in Neurodiverse Partnerships | Expert Panel (Pt 2)

Can a neurodiverse relationship still see change when only one partner works on it? What if you’ve tried everything, but nothing seems to stick?
In Part 2 of this roundtable discussion, Jodi and the panel of leading neurodiversity professionals return to explore how coaching (versus therapy), nervous system regulation, and identifying options can help couples shift out of stuck patterns—even when one partner isn’t engaged in the work. If you’re trying to decide whether to stay, leave, or redefine what being together looks like, this conversation offers real-life strategies, hope, and clarity.
💬 What You’ll Learn in This Episode: The difference between coaching and traditional therapy—and when each is most effective Why regulating your nervous system is key to better communication Practical tools for rewiring the brain and shifting harmful patterns How to navigate decision-making, boundaries, and even separation with clarity and self-trust What to look for in a therapist or coach to determine who actually understands neurodiversity - versus someone who “knows someone that was neurodivergent” How healing is possible even if only one partner is doing the work
Whether you're in a neurodiverse relationship, supporting a loved one, or working as a professional in this space, this episode offers real tools, compassionate insight, and hopeful next steps.
👉 Missed Part 1? Watch here: https://youtu.be/rXeUypJeQX4?si=1GiWaeRK5PhrWS59 
00:00 Welcome Back: Season 5 & this Expert Panel Episode 00:57 Real-Life Experience from Neurodiverse Professionals 03:15 Why Traditional Couples Therapy Often Falls Short 04:49 Coaching vs. Counseling: What Works for Neurodiverse Couples 06:05 Nervous System Regulation & Expanding Capacity 08:52 When Only One Partner Is Willing to Do the Work 13:02 Discernment: Stay, Go, or Redefine the Relationship 21:42 How to Know If a Therapist Really Gets Neurodiversity 27:45 Red Flags, Abuse, and Boundaries in Neurodiverse Marriages 28:25 Closing Thoughts & Resources
👋🏼 Meet the Experts: This episode features insights from:
Barbara Grant, MMFT, CAS, NDCC – Neurodiverse couples coach, co-host of Neurodiverse Couples Coaches Corner, and co-author of Uniquely Us. https://bg-hc.com
Jana Smith – Resilience and nervous system coach; expert in chronic illness and Cassandra Syndrome recovery. https://www.janamsmith.com
Natalie Roberts – Award-winning neurodiverse relationship coach, co-founder of Loving Difference, and co-host of Myth Busting Neurodiverse Relationships. https://natalieroberts.com
Heather Parks – Somatic coach specializing in neurodiverse families; co-host of Loving Difference and Myth Busting Neurodiverse Relationships. https://heatherparks.co.uk
Robin Tate, M.A., M.S., BCC, ACC, CAS – Neurodiverse couples coach, certified autism specialist, and founder of Robin Tate LLC. https://www.robintatellc.com 
👩‍💼 About Your Host:
Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.
👉 Find resources, quizzes, and courses: https://jodicarlton.com  
🔔 Subscribe & Follow for more real conversations and strategies to support neurodiverse couples.

20 Years in a Neurodiverse Marriage | Part 2 with Laura Schreiner

How do you stay in a neurodiverse marriage for the long haul?
In Part 2 of this honest and hope-filled conversation, counselor Laura Schreiner returns to share what she and her autistic husband have learned in over 20 years together—especially after discovering neurodivergence mid-marriage. With warmth and wisdom, Laura and host Jodi Carlton explore what real growth looks like in neurodiverse marriages—from learning to set emotional boundaries to releasing the pressure to “fix” each other.
💬 You’ll hear Laura unpack:
Why setting boundaries with your kids is just as important as with your partnerHow her husband’s communication “black belt” surprised her What changed when she detached from emotional outcomes Why understanding your own expectations is essential—especially if you're the one doing all the work Her husband’s take: “We’re not opposites. We’re complementary puzzle pieces.”
This conversation is packed with real insight for #neurotypical and #neurodivergent partners alike—plus a lot of humor and humanity!
📍 Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Intro & Why You Shouldn’t Miss Part 1 01:24 Setting Boundaries as a Neurodivergent Parent 03:50 “Fixing Autism” vs. Doing the Personal Work 06:02 Her Communication “Black Belt” Analogy 07:07 How Feelings are Impacted by What We Choose to Believe 09:19 Somatic Tools for Regulating Relationship Tension 11:39 Doing the Inner Work—Even If the Relationship Doesn’t Last 14:37 How One Breakthrough Shifted Their Marriage 17:06 Codependency, Expectations & the Myth of the “Perfect Partner” 19:16 What If Leaving Isn’t So Simple? 24:24 How We Define Progress in Neurodiverse Relationships 29:01 Letting Go of Expectations & Receiving What’s Given 34:00 We Both Still Like Chicken 35:00 “We’re Complementary Puzzle Pieces” (Her Husband’s Final Insight)
✨ About Laura Schreiner:
Laura Schreiner is a licensed professional counselor in Illinois who specializes in working with neurodivergent adults and couples. Her expertise is deeply personal—Laura discovered in 2017 that her husband is autistic, a revelation that reshaped both her personal and professional life.
Certified in Neurodiverse Couples Therapy through the Asperger/Autism Network (AANE), Laura combines over 15 years of clinical experience with firsthand insight into the unique dynamics of neurodiverse relationships. She is currently developing new ways to educate and support the neurodiverse community on how brain wiring differences shape communication, connection, and partnership.
To follow Laura’s work or get in touch, visit www.laurasnc.com 
👉 Real stories. Tangible strategies. Watch more honest conversations from Season 5: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSyXJdjUav7qLvkJFwE-KcG73-Fzuzu29 
💬 NEW! Try the NeuroTranslator App
Want help understanding each other’s neurotypes in everyday situations? The NeuroTranslator app offers on-demand explanations to help reduce conflict and increase connection. Built by an autistic husband to bridge communication gaps between neurotypes. Save 30% with promo code JODI.
🔗 https://www.neurotranslator.ai
#neurodiversemarriage #communicationchallenges #codependencyrecovery #neurodivergentlove #emotionalboundaries #relationshipadvice
👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.
👉 Explore more episodes, free resources, quizzes, and courses: https://jodicarlton.com 
🔔 Don’t Forget to Like, Subscribe & Share! Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships.
 

Neurodiverse Marriage: How Counselor Laura Schreiner Navigates Her Own

Counselor Laura Schreiner opens up about her own 20-year neurodiverse marriage—sharing expert insights, hard truths, and what makes love last.
In this episode, neurodiverse relationship expert, Jodi Carlton, sits down with returning guest Laura Schreiner, a seasoned counselor who specializes in working with #neurodivergent adults and couples. Laura shares insights from her own 20-year #neurodiversemarriage, offering a rare and compassionate look at how communication struggles, #masking, #emotionalburnout, and unmet expectations play out in real life—and what it looks like when couples decide to stay in it and do the work.
💬  You’ll hear Laura break down:
Why communication isn’t linear in neurodiverse partnerships
How she and her #autistichusband navigate misunderstandings with humor and empathy
The surprising shift that helped her let go of “fixing” and focus on her own growth
What really makes or breaks these relationships in the long run
Whether you’re the #autisticpartner, the #neurotypical one, or somewhere in between—this episode is packed with wisdom, warmth, and hard-earned truth.
00:00 Can Neurodiverse Relationships Work Long-Term?
01:23 Meet Laura Schreiner: Counselor & Neurodiverse Partner
02:45 Why Laura Speaks for Both Partners in This Episode (Respecting Privacy in Neurodiverse Relationships)
05:52 What Makes Neurodiverse  Relationships So Challenging? And What Are Some Solutions 
06:12 Communication Is Not Linear
08:02 Her Husband’s Powerful Quote on Communication Challenges
09:35 Jodi and Laura Talk About the Shame, Embarrassment, and Self-Criticism Neurodivergent Partners Often Experience
13:13 Pulling the Thread: A Real-Life Example of a Communication Breakthrough
20:58 Responding to “Why Should I Be the One Doing All the Work?”
​​24:14 Believing in Yourself & Doing the Inner Work: What Makes a Neurodiverse Relationship Work
26:58 Her Husband’s Self-Awareness Breakthrough
28:53 Letting Go of Codependency in Neurodiverse Relationships
33:04 Coming Up Next: More Wisdom from Laura in Part 2
✨ About Laura Schreiner:
Laura Schreiner is a licensed professional counselor in Illinois who specializes in working with neurodivergent adults and couples. Her expertise is deeply personal—Laura discovered in 2017 that her husband is autistic, a revelation that reshaped both her personal and professional life.
Certified in Neurodiverse Couples Therapy through the Asperger/Autism Network (AANE), Laura combines over 15 years of clinical experience with firsthand insight into the unique dynamics of neurodiverse relationships. She is currently developing new ways to educate and support the neurodiverse community on how brain wiring differences shape communication, connection, and partnership.
To follow Laura’s work or get in touch, visit laurasnc.com.
👉 Real stories. Tangible strategies. Watch more honest conversations from Season 5: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSyXJdjUav7qLvkJFwE-KcG73-Fzuzu29
 
💬 NEW! Try the NeuroTranslator App
Want help understanding each other’s neurotypes in everyday situations? The NeuroTranslator app offers on-demand explanations to help reduce conflict and increase connection. Built by an autistic husband to bridge communication gaps between neurotypes. Save 30% with promo code JODI.
🔗 https://www.neurotranslator.ai
 
#communicationchallenges #codependencyrecovery #emotionalboundaries #marriageadvice #selfawareness
—
👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd
Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.
 
👉 Explore more episodes, free resources, quizzes, and courses:
https://jodicarlton.com 
 
🔔 Don’t Forget to Like, Subscribe & Share!
Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships.

How Autism Shaped A Bestselling Author’s Career & Marriage

From masking to neurodiverse marriage, bestselling author J.D. Barker gets real about life as an autistic adult.
In this podcast episode, neurodiverse relationship coach Jodi Carlton talks with New York Times bestselling author JDBarker, who shares what was like for him to navigate life, love, and fatherhood - and autism. From high-stakes careers in finance and IT to ghostwriting blockbusters and becoming a full-time novelist, J.D. reflects on how autism has shaped his relationships, routines, and creative process.
He also gets candid about building a neurodiverse marriage with his neurotypical wife, parenting a neurodivergent daughter, and the personal growth that came with learning to embrace—not mask—his autistic traits.
💬 What you’ll hear in this episode:
The surprising way J.D. was diagnosed with autism at 22 Why masking often feels like “playing a part” in social settings How he and his wife created emotional safety and mutual respect in their marriage What it looks like to be a team—not adversaries—as neurodiverse partners The “loop-closing” need in autistic brains—and how it affects everyday routines Why creativity is often misunderstood in autism (and how it became his superpower) What he tells parents of autistic children about what’s possible for their future.
Whether you’re autistic, in a neurodiverse relationship, or parenting a neurodivergent child, this conversation is full of practical insights, encouragement, and inspiration for anyone navigating the complexities of autism in adulthood and family life.
 
00:00 Welcome to Season 5
00:57 Meet J.D. Barker
01:37 J.D.’s Diagnosis Story
03:12 Life as an Autistic Adult
06:02 Autism & Parenting a Neurodivergent Child
08:23 Understanding ND Traits in Relationships
10:25 From Corporate Burnout to Bestselling Author: How J.D.’s Wife Helped Him Reclaim His Life
19:52 Creativity, Career & the Autistic Brain
22:24 J.D.’s Superpower: Mimicking Author Voices
23:04 Becoming a Bestselling Author
24:25 Breaking the Creativity Myth in Autism
26:14 The Writing Process & Pattern Recognition
28:29 Researching Characters & Emotional Nuance
30:32 Emotional Differences in a Neurodiverse Marriage
32:24 Communication, Trust & Mutual Respect
36:06 Advice for Autistic Creatives
37:21 Final Reflections
🎥 Keep watching to explore more episodes in Season 5 and discover how other neurodiverse couples are navigating life, love, and everything in between. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSyXJdjUav7qLvkJFwE-KcG73-Fzuzu29 
📚 About J.D. Barker:
J.D. Barker is a New York Times and international bestselling author known for gripping, genre-blending thrillers that weave suspense, horror, mystery, and science fiction into unforgettable stories. His acclaimed novels include Dracul (co-authored with Dacre Stoker), the 4MK series, and multiple collaborations with James Patterson, such as The Coast-to-Coast Murders and The Noise.
Explore his books and learn more: www.jdbarker.com 
________
👩‍💼 About Your Host:
Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.
👉 Explore more episodes, free resources, quizzes, and courses: https://jodicarlton.com
🔔 Don’t Forget to Like, Subscribe & Share!
Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships.
 

Neurodiverse Marriage Challenges: Faith, Conflict & Growth Mindset | Part 2 with Stephanie & Dan

What keeps neurodiverse marriages from falling apart—and what helps them grow stronger over time? In Part 2 of this honest and hope-filled conversation, Stephanie & Dan Holmes return to share deeper insights on what makes neurodiverse relationships work—and what often makes them break down.
From emotional triggers to unspoken resentments, rigid belief systems to religious conditioning, they dive into the patterns that can quietly erode a relationship—and how curiosity, boundaries, and a growth mindset can bring real repair.
💬 You’ll hear real-life insights about:
 
Navigating conflict when there’s no “right” answer
Reframing triggers and rewriting your relationship narrative
The impact of faith and religious systems on neurodiverse couples
Identifying deal-breakers: when unintentional harm becomes a pattern
Why being teachable is non-negotiable
Embracing differences instead of fighting them
How long-term growth happens in stages—and why you’re never “done”
This is a must-watch/must-listen for anyone wondering how to stay connected when perspectives clash, progress feels slow, or your relationship feels stuck in a loop.
 
00:00 – Welcome to Season Five
00:57 – Introducing Dan and Stephanie Holmes
01:24 – Navigating Triggers & Setting Boundaries That Work
03:50 – How Conflict Shows Up in Neurodiverse Relationships
08:32 – Faith & Friction: When Religion Complicates Your Marriage
18:10 – Reconstructing Faith & Rethinking Marriage Roles
20:26 – Deal Breakers That Derail Neurodiverse Relationships
24:00 – Why Being Teachable Matters More Than Being Right
27:41 – About the Book: Research, Real Stories & Practical Help
29:07 – What the Research Reveals About ND Couples
29:57 – Unintentional Abuse: Where the Line Gets Crossed
33:48 – Embracing Differences Instead of Fighting Them
35:05 – Why Growth Mindset Is Non-Negotiable in ND Marriage
36:56 – Final Thoughts: Learning, Changing & Staying Curious
37:37 – Wrap-Up + Where to Learn More
 
✨ About Stephanie & Dan Holmes:
Rev. Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes, Ed.D, MA, BCCC is a Certified Autism Specialist, neurodiverse marriage therapist, ordained minister, and former licensed professional counselor. When her daughter was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, Stephanie’s professional focus shifted to serving neurodiverse families and couples. She is the founder of Autism Spectrum Resources for Marriage & Family and co-founder (with Dan) of The International Association of NeuroDiverse Christian Marriage. She co-hosts the NeuroDiverse Christian Couples podcast and coaches couples worldwide.
Rev. Dan Holmes, MCS is a seasoned systems architect, ordained minister, and Master Life Coach who specializes in coaching neurodivergent men. He blends technical expertise with coaching and ministry. Dan received his autism diagnosis later in life in 2019, which deeply informs his perspective and work.
📚 Explore Stephanie’s and Dan’s books: 
“Uniquely Us: Gracefully Navigating the Maze of Neurodiverse Marriage, Autism and Faith”
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/uniquely-us-stephanie-c-holmes/1146104450?ean=9781636985435 
“Embracing the Autism Spectrum: Finding Hope & Joy Navigating the NeuroDiverse Family Journey”
https://www.holmesasr.com/embracing-the-autism-spectrum 
🎧 Listen to the NeuroDiverse Christian Couples podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/neurodiverse-christian-couples--4992356
📩 Connect with Stephanie: dr.stephanie@holmesASR.com 
📩 Connect with Dan: dan@holmesASR.com 
 
👉 Want to hear more real stories and strategies? Watch the rest of Season 5: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSyXJdjUav7qLvkJFwE-KcG73-Fzuzu29 
👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd
Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.
 
👉 Explore more episodes, free resources, quizzes, and courses:
https://jodicarlton.com 
 
🔔 Don’t Forget to Like, Subscribe & Share!
Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships.

Can an Autistic + Neurotypical Marriage Thrive? Stephanie & Dan Share How (Part 1)

Can a neurodiverse marriage actually work when communication constantly breaks down? If you’ve ever felt like you and your partner are speaking two different languages—especially in an autism or ADHD relationship—this episode is for you. Stephanie & Dan Holmes share how they redefined their roles at home, and used coaching to rebuild connection, reduce resentment, and finally feel like a team again.
💬 You’ll hear real-life insights about: Why they left using a therapy model and started coaching instead The power of building individual skills before focusing on teamwork as a couple How Dan taking over cooking reduced Stephanie’s mental load Bridging different emotional processing styles Learning to “sit with each other’s emotions” instead of fixing them Why sometimes you need to “put it in the unsolved mystery file” This episode is part of Season 5 of the YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship Podcast, exploring the question: “Can neurodiverse relationships work?” The answer? Yes—with the right tools, support, and a willingness to learn what actually works for YOU as a couple.
Stephanie and Dan open up about what it really takes to navigate marriage as a neurodiverse couple—and how their faith, coaching, and intentional communication helped them overcome communication breakdowns and challenges related to autism and ADHD.
00:00 – Can Neurodiverse Relationships Really Work?
01:44 – Meet Stephanie & Dan Holmes
03:39 – Why Coaching Helped When Therapy Didn’t
08:03 – What We Mean by Neurodiverse: ADHD, Autism & More
11:05 – Rethinking Gender Roles: A System That Worked for Them
13:20 – The Mental Load & How Cooking Changed Everything
17:57 – “I Don’t Need You to Fix It—I Need You to Be Irrational With Me”
20:00 – Emotions as Data: Why Logic Isn’t Always the Answer
22:08 – The “Delta” Fight: How Literal vs. Emotional Thinking Clashes
25:14 – The Hospital Story: Why Being Present Mattered Most
32:27 – Revisiting Old Conflicts Without Re-Traumatizing
37:52 – What They’ve Learned & What’s Coming in Part 2
 
✨ About Stephanie & Dan Holmes:
Rev. Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes, Ed.D, MA, BCCC is a Certified Autism Specialist, neurodiverse marriage therapist, ordained minister, and former licensed professional counselor. When their daughter was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, Stephanie’s professional focus shifted to serving neurodiverse families and couples. Stephanie is the founder of Autism Spectrum Resources for Marriage & Family and co-founder (with Dan) of The International Association of NeuroDiverse Christian Marriage. She co-hosts the NeuroDiverse Christian Couples podcast and coaches couples around the world navigating the complexities of faith and neurodiversity in marriage.
Rev. Dan Holmes, MCS is a seasoned systems architect, ordained minister, and Master Life Coach who specializes in working with neurodivergent men. Dan blends technical expertise with coaching and ministry experience. He received his autism diagnosis later in life in 2019, which deeply informs his work and perspective.
📚 Explore Stephanie’s and Dan’s books:
“Uniquely Us: Gracefully Navigating the Maze of Neurodiverse Marriage, Autism and Faith” https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/uniquely-us-stephanie-c-holmes/1146104450?ean=9781636985435 
“Embracing the Autism Spectrum: Finding Hope & Joy Navigating the NeuroDiverse Family Journey” https://www.holmesasr.com/embracing-the-autism-spectrum 
🎧 Listen to the NeuroDiverse Christian Couples podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/neurodiverse-christian-couples--4992356 
📩 Connect with Stephanie: dr.stephanie@holmesASR.com
📩 Connect with Dan: dan@holmesASR.com 
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#neurodiverserelationships #challengesofautism #ADHD #communicationbreakdowns #genderroles #neurodiversemarriage #relationshipcoaching
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👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and personal experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner, raising neurodivergent children, and discovering that nearly her entire extended family is neurodiverse, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work - and she understands the devastating pitfalls that threaten neurodiverse couples. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.
🎧 Explore more episodes, free resources, quizzes, and courses at: 👉 https://jodicarlton.com
🔔 Don’t Forget to Like, Subscribe & Share! Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships.