When a person's faith and spiritual values are used to coerce, convince, or control and manipulate, devastating harm is done. Weaponized faith is all too common, and I see the trauma it causes in so many of the men and women who contact me for help. "Scripts" about the roles of men and women, and husbands and wives, are often conveyed by well-meaning religious leaders, but then, in the neurodivergent community, applied rigidly in a relationship. Both partners often participate in reinforcing a coercive and controlling dynamic that utilizes shame, guilt, and obligation to get one or both partner's needs met - both believing they are following the beliefs of their faith. This relationship is ultimately highly dysfunctional, and can become toxic and abusive. Take a moment to listen to my conversation with Dan and Stephanie Holmes, who are Christian neurodiverse relationship specialists. This concept applies to people of all faiths and value-systems because these same dynamics occur in any relationship where beliefs and values are used to manipulate.
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